


I'm Chasing (I'll be Waiting)

by shrimpheavenwow



Category: Polygon/McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slow Burn, and also sadder than i thought it would be?, angel pat, but it is. good, demon brian, god is a woman lol, i guess but less heavy on the enemies part, this is uhhh longer than i thought it would be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-23 18:11:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18707290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shrimpheavenwow/pseuds/shrimpheavenwow
Summary: Patrick was an angel living in New York. He had a good job, a good life, and was generally doing fine performing miracles and blessing the humans around him. Then this nerd ass demon had to come around and fuck it all up.AKA angel/demon au where Pat is wary, Brian is clumsy, and things aren't exactly as they seem.





	I'm Chasing (I'll be Waiting)

**Author's Note:**

> Uhhhhh yeah so, I finally finished this. It took me forever, so I hope you guys enjoy it. Unbeta'd, so sorry for any mistakes. I read through this 1.5 times after writing it lmao. Comments and kudos welcome because I crave validation. 
> 
> Title from Shooting Stars by Bag Raiders

Patrick walked into the office building feeling uneasy. It was the kind of feeling you get from a day that’s destined to go wrong. He felt overcome with a sense of anticipation but with an odd edge. It was like watching a horror movie, needing to know what happened next but not knowing if you really want to see it. Knowing you’ll only be left scared, upset, and unhappy.

He could feel it as soon as he left the elevator, the tension in the air that everyone else seemed oblivious to. He rounded the corner, eyes on his phone, stopping a few feet into the hallway.

He’d known that they were getting new hires today and frankly, he’d been excited about them. It was always nice to have some fresh blood in their video crew. But looking at the group of them now made him feel sick, deeply uncomfortable in a way he couldn’t describe. He didn’t want to go near them, much less talk to them, but they were taking up a large section of the hallway, the few of them that there were and staff that had gathered around them.

Pat took a few hesitant steps forward, his eyes scanning the crowd. A man Patrick didn’t recognize turned in his direction, glancing over at him. Their eyes met. Pat stopped dead in his tracks.

The electricity in the air seemed to crackle as their eyes locked, 100 time more unsettling than before. Pat could practically feel his fingertips tingling with the energy. They stared at each other, eyes wide, unblinking. Pat barely trusted himself to breathe.

Patrick was an angel in the most literal sense. He had been sent from Heaven to Earth to help humans, to perform miracles according to God’s will. He’d been down here for the last few centuries. At first, all his miracles had been big, the kind of thing that drove people to churches in gratitude. Over time, the miracles became less spectacular. He went from saving whole towns from fatal illnesses, to saving people from one burning building, to making a single person find some extra money on the street when they really needed it. Angels were there to help people, even if it was in little ways. Small miracles and blessings were often dismissed as luck, but it wasn’t the recognition that they did it for, it was the knowledge that at least one human would have a better day.

The man in front of Pat, however, was his exact opposite. Demons were less subtle with their actions, or at least that’s how it seemed in the past few decades. There was so much bad in the world, and while most of it was human created, a lot of it was inspired by or made possible by demonic influence. Demons didn’t create evil, nor did they cause people in the world to do evil. Humans were always free to choose what actions to take and when, which decision is best by their own judgement. Angels dealt in order. Demons made their living in chaos.

A demon’s influence created the kind of circumstances that makes evil and sin that much more likely. These situations were almost always comprised of hard choices, of a chaos that breeds self interest over righteous selflessness. Pat was staring at a man who was his literal enemy, and for some reason he couldn’t even bring himself to move.

The demon, at least, seemed to be in a similar state of paralyzed shock. Pat understood now why he’d been so overwhelmingly uncomfortable when he’d walked in that morning. He’d been able to sense it as soon as they entered the same room, that kind of electrifying tension that set every hair on end, every nerve on edge. They were diametrically opposed, down to the core of their being. Pat should have been filled with anger, with hatred, with murderous rage. By all means he should have been at his throat the minute their eyes locked. But he wasn’t. And they weren’t. All there was was the shock of proximity, of knowing that this was going to be an incredibly precarious arrangement.

There was nothing physically that set him apart, no horns or fangs or glowing red eyes, in the same way that Pat didn’t have a halo or wings. All of those things belonged to a different plane of existence, a different realm. While Pat still had his wings in an ethereal and non physical sense, they couldn’t be seen. They were more of an metaphysical energy than anything, a phantom force that he could feel, but not really use.

So there was nothing that set the man apart from any other human other than the fact that Pat could _feel_ it. He could sense it in the same way that he can sense other angels, could recognize the energy. As the crowd started to disperse into their respective areas, Simone saw him staring from down the hall. She waved him over, and as much as he absolutely should have ran in the opposite direction, he walked toward her.

Pat had never met a demon, not really. New York was a big city. Pat wasn’t the only angel there and there was certainly more than a few demons hanging around, but the extent of Pat’s interactions with them had been limited to seeing them in the street and summarily avoiding them.

This felt different. The air around him made Pat...uncomfortable, but not angry. If anything it was just a little nauseating, stifling in a way that choked you. On the street, seeing a demon was like immediately recognizing the enemy, feeling a rush of hatred, of determination. Seeing this demon was more like interest, curiosity, without a hint of the righteous anger that Pat had been used to feeling. There was a strangely intense draw to him that Pat felt guilty for even being able to feel. More than anything though, Pat just felt startled and off balance.

Pretty much all of the new hires had walked off with a staff member, presumably to show them around and help them get adjusted to the office. All that was left was Simone, Pat, and the demon that still hadn’t stopped staring at him. Simone smiled widely as he approached.

“Hey Pat, this is Brian David Gilbert. Brian, Pat Gill,” she said, gesturing between the two of them. Pat stuck a hand out to shake on instinct. Brian extended his hand to take it and then stopped short, eyes fixed on the space between them. Pat looked down and realized what he was doing, quickly retracting his hand. It probably wasn’t the best idea for a angel and a demon to shake hands, to touch each other’s skin at all really, especially around a human. Pat had never had physical contact with one, so there was really no telling what would happen.

Simone fixed them with odd look. “That was...weird. Do you guys know each other?”

Brian shook his head, looking at the floor. “No.”

“Okay….well, Pat’s another person on our video crew so you’ll probably be seeing a lot of him.” She glanced between them. Pat and Brian just stood there, caught between wanting to stare at each other and not wanting to look the other in the eyes. “Alright! Well I am definitely uncomfortable so I’m gonna go. Brian, follow me, I’ll give you a tour of the office.”

Brian nodded and followed as Simone moved past Patrick and walked down the hallway. Brian turned around slightly as he walked, raising a hand up in an awkward wave which Pat hesitantly returned. Brian turned forward again and rounded the corner, leaving Pat disoriented, dazed, and alone.

++++++++++

Things were predictably awkward for a while, but surprisingly calm. Pat and Brian didn’t have to interact much, and when they did, it was always brief. Their work didn’t overlap, not yet, not with him being so new. Even with how little they crossed paths, it didn’t stop them from generally being in the same space, and because of that, inevitably running into each other.

Pat was in the break room making coffee when Brian walked in, not that Pat could see him. That weird electric feeling in the air around Brian had lessened since the first time they met, but hadn’t disappeared completely. Pat could still sense exactly where he was at any given time, any movement that brought him closer or farther away.

Pat shifted a few steps away from the coffee maker, to the side of the counter, giving him room. Brian took the space that Pat gave him hesitantly, awkwardly, careful that he didn’t brush against him. The tension between them was less charged than usual, just awkward in the way it would be with anyone. They were the only two in the break room, which made their silence that much more unbearable. Brian cleared his throat.

“Could you- uh, could you hand me the creamer please?” He asked, gesturing vaguely in its direction.

Pat nodded a little before passing it to him. Maybe it was the angle, or maybe it was the way he’d grabbed it, but whatever the reason, Brian’s fingers managed to brush Pat’s by accident as he grabbed it. It was feather light, hardly there at all, but it was enough contact to send a jolt of pure electricity through both of them. The creamer was sent rolling across the floor, no longer important.

They jumped apart as if they’d been burned. Pat drew his hand close to his body, examining it to find any indication of harm. At the point of contact was this bright, white blue, that glowed for just a second before fading back into his normal skin tone. He looked over at Brian, who was staring at his hand in the same kind of way. Pat knew that he’d experienced something similar.

“What. the fuck,” Pat said, barely aware that he was even talking.

“I- it, uh- we- um,” Brian stuttered, wide-eyed and panicked. He stared at Pat for a long second before he turned around and quickly walked out of the room. Pat looked back at his hand, alone now, wondering what in Heaven or Hell just happened.

They didn’t touch again after that. They didn’t talk about it, but they both came to the terms with the reality of their situation, trying to go about their lives normally. Brian had videos to record, and Pat didn’t have time to worry about whether Brian was uncomfortable being in the same room as him. They were both professionals, and as a part of the video team, Pat couldn’t just flat out refuse to work with Brian. He’d just have to grin and bear it, and strangely enough, it was working.They didn’t have to be more than coworkers, absolutely didn’t need to be friends. Pat just had to help Brian record videos, be in a couple with him, and maybe help him stream with someone, but he didn’t have to be close to him in the slightest.

The thing about Brian’s videos though was that they were just kind of...off. They weren’t bad, and they were more than a little entertaining, but they were slightly cursed. For the most part, they were fine. They were benign, innocuous, sometimes even comforting. Even so, there was no way to hold back his true nature, not completely. His demonic energy bled into the edges of his words, his tone, just slightly, imperceptible to humans but present enough that it left them feeling...not bad, but different. Stranger than before.

It was never enough for Pat to be concerned, to give him reason to stop helping Brian. Just because Pat could feel every microbe of that energy that Brian put out didn’t mean the audience was really being affected by it in any meaningful way. It did mean that filming videos was a somewhat tense experience, for both of them, and more often than not it made things between them that much more awkward.

Brian always apologized after. They never discussed why - they both knew. It was a sheepish sort of apology, the kind of thing Brian seemed almost embarrassed to say, like he didn’t mean for it to happen. Like he didn’t like making Pat uncomfortable.  

And that was. Well, it was more than a little confusing. They were being civil with each other, just as much as social conditions required, but Brian was still a demon. He should’ve loved making Pat uncomfortable, savored every moment that Patrick was anything but perfect. He should’ve hated Pat’s guts. But he didn’t. Instead he apologized after he recorded videos with Pat, and he kept his demonic side in check, and he laughed and he smiled and it was all just so genuine. If Pat didn’t absolutely know otherwise, he’d say that Brian was just another normal human. Brian had a full range of emotions that he really let himself express in his videos and to those around him. He was more than just Lucifer’s lackey. He was himself, his own personality, through and through. And none of it made a bit of sense.

There were other things too, things Brian did that made trying to understand him that much more frustrating, (not that Pat really should have been spending time figuring Brian out but he couldn’t help but try). Brian was a demon. There were things Pat knew about demons, things that were completely true and universal, things about their nature that were prerequisite to being a demon. They weren’t good things.

Brian must have had  those aspects of himself, must have had  that kind of disposition, but if he did, Pat had never truly seen it. Imagining Brian as cold, heartless, and cruel was kind of hard to do when he was doubled over laughing at a joke Jenna made. It was hard to see him as fierce and merciless when he was piled up with coats to try and keep out the New York winters. It was hard to understand his intentions when he just seemed so harmless.

Another thing Brian was was clumsy. He was littered with tiny bruises, across this arms and hands, his legs back when it was warm enough to wear shorts. It was this fact alone that reminded Pat of just how truly graceless he was, in more ways than one.

But recently the bruises had started becoming more frequent, more prominent. Even though Pat didn’t spend a lot of time with Brian, it was impossible to not notice the discolored skin peeking out of his shirt sleeve, or the way his knuckles had been busted open at least twice that week. Brian wasn’t a fighter. He was scrawny, average height, not particularly aggressive. He wasn’t the kind of person to pick a fight. But either no one who worked closely with him had noticed or they just didn’t want to say anything, because no one asked. Pat hadn’t even heard any gossip flying around about it. It wasn’t until the injuries reached his face that Pat realized what was going on.

Angels left a kind of residue on people. Usually it was pretty easy to spot, as angelic blessings gave off a very distinctive kind of magic that covered the whole of a person. It was a kind of iridescent sheen, lasted for a week tops, not a new or interesting fact. What was interesting was the fact that Brian now had a nice sized, swollen bruise blossoming over his cheekbone, and more than that, it shimmered when it hit the light.

It was nasty, the deep kind of bruise that busted the skin just a little near the center, the kind that would probably stick around for a week or so before it faded completely. Pat had heard of angels and demons fighting each other, though it was usually pretty rare, as it invited unwanted attention. But get one or the other angry enough and there was no doubt it would turn into an all out brawl. Brian wasn’t the kind of guy who gets into fights, but more than that, he wasn’t the kind of person to win.

Pat was standing at the edge of the room, staring rather intensely at Brian, who in turn was trying desperately to ignore Pat’s gaze. He was editing a video, headphones on, eyes locked on the screen. Pat sighed and ran a hand through his hair, taking a long sip of his coffee.

There was one saving grace to the whole situation, and that was the fact that no humans could see what had happened. Angels and demons alike had the ability to cast a kind of glamour over themselves, a kind of magic intended to hide their true forms back in the scriptural days. It wasn’t often used in modern times, as they now possessed forms that closely resembled humans, but every now and again it was necessary. It only affected human sight, other angels and demons were immune to it. Pat hadn’t noticed Brian was doing it for the simple fact that he couldn’t see it

The problem with doing this was that it was taxing, physically draining. In order to maintain a glamour, the magic required a steady line directly from the caster’s energy. Brian had been putting a glamour over his little bruises for nearly two weeks now, and because most of his bruises were under his clothes, it didn’t take much energy to hide the tiny bits that showed. The bruise on his face was a much larger drain, and even from where Pat was standing, he could see the effects wearing on him.

He was slouching, eyes baggy, movement just the slightest bit sluggish. He could keep that glamour up for two days more, maybe three, but it wasn’t going to be enough time for him to heal, that was for damn sure. After that, he was going to have to explain what happened, and there was no chance that was going to go well at all.

Weirdly enough, Brian wasn’t a good liar. His work dealt more in the hard truth of things, which usually brought about more chaos than lies did. Pat knew that if he were to drop his glamour, everyone in the office would be asking about his injuries, and they’d almost certainly see through his excuses. They might leave him alone after a while, but there was a chance that Brian wouldn’t last under the pressure. If Brian told them the truth about himself, it would be a step away from them learning about Pat.

Pat felt a rush of panic flutter in his chest. The chances of all of it happening were slim, and the chances of anyone believing the truth were much slimmer, but Pat still could see it playing out in his head, clear as day. It could blow his whole cover here, and he’d have to leave, start somewhere else, if worse came to worst, Pat might even be recalled back to Heaven.

Pat walked forward and as casually as possible nudged Brian’s chair with his foot, careful not to accidentally touch him. Brian looked up at him, startled but clearly guilty, like he knew exactly why Pat was there. Pat nodded in the direction of an empty meeting room and walked away. He didn’t need his senses to tell him that Brian was following.

He waited till Brian had shut the door to say anything.

“Okay, spill. What’s been going on?” He asked, trying his best to be calm. Brian rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly and took a deep breath.

“New York is a new area for me, I’m not used to having so many angels around at every turn. Every once in a while I’ll, you know, do my thing, make some disorder, and I’ll forget to really hide it,” he glanced up, scrambling to explain after seeing the look on Pat’s face. “No no no, don’t worry, human’s never notice, I’m not that stupid. It’s just angels. It’s easier to spot it when you can feel the energy in the air, you know?”

Pat nodded. It wasn’t hard to feel when a curse or a blessing was being performed.

“So that’s it? Angels have been seeing you cursing shit and that’s why they’ve been beating you up?” Pat responded. Brian nodded.

“Yeah, basically. Usually they leave me be but sometimes, especially when the curse is less subtle, it makes them angry.” He sucked in a breath. “And sometimes they have friends who pull you into an alley and beat the shit out of you,” he added, not looking at Pat.

Pat considered this.

“Why has it been happening so much though? This never came up before, since I’ve known you at least. Why now?”

Brian bit his lip. “I’ve been meaning to tell you but I’ve been putting it off. Tara asked me if I’d be willing to stream with you, and I didn’t want her to think there was bad blood between us, so... I said yes.”

“Shit.” Pat had been talking to Tara recently about the same kind of thing, doing more streams to engage the audience. He’d been all on board, but that was before he knew who he’d be streaming with. Videos were unique, you could cut out any tension. There was no hiding that kind of thing in a stream, with thousands of people watching you every move as it happened.

“Yeah,” Brian responded.

“ _Shit_ ,” Pat repeated, running his hand through his hair for probably the 30th time that day.

“We have to start sometime soon, within the next few weeks, just whenever we’re free to. I’ve been editing a few videos for a bit so I told her I was busy but I can only put it off for so long. That’s what I’ve been thinking about lately, so when I curse things, I’m distracted. I’m clumsy with it. I know I shouldn’t be but I am. And now I have this to show for it,” he finished, gesturing sadly toward his bruise.

“Fuck, okay well, you’re not going to be able to hide it for much longer.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“What are you going to tell them? Can you find a way to get good at lying quickly?” Pat knew it was a stretch but he was desperate.

“I really don’t know, to answer both your questions.” Brian shrugged, looking just as frustrated as Pat felt.

“We can’t risk the truth getting out, Brian.”

“You think I don’t know that? Trust me, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this.” Brian plopped down into a chair, resting his arm on the table, head propped up by a hand. Pat had an idea. It was dumb and stupid and might not work but it was something.

“What if I… what if I could help?” He asked.

“How?”

“I could help with your glamour. If it’s taking energy from both of us, it will last longer, and it won’t be as taxing on you alone.” Brian looked at him, incredulous.

“Will that even work?” He asked.

Pat shrugged. “I don’t know, but it’s the only idea we have right now.”

Brian thought about it for a second before looking back at Pat. “Will it hurt me? I don’t know how angelic energy will react with me being, well me.”

“There’s no way to tell unless I do it, and right now it’s our best shot.”

Brian nodded, hesitantly, more to himself than anything else. He stood up, stepping directly in front of Pat. He took a breath and visibly relaxed, probably having dropped his glamour for the moment so that Pat could help him cast one again.

“Okay. Let’s do this.”

Pat nodded and took a deep breath. He had only just started to reach out with his energy before he pulled back.

“Wait. I need to know how much I’m covering. How much of damage is there?” Pat asked. Brian hesitated.

“...A lot.”

“How much is a lot?” Pat looked at him expectantly. Brian shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, knowing what he was really asking.

“Do you need to see it?” He asked. Pat wasn’t the most comfortable with this either, but if it was what they had to do then he would rather they get it over with quickly.

“If I do, it would help me to better concentrate my energy on one area. I can’t feel the difference right now.”

Brian nodded, resigned. He looked around the room. “Here?”

Pat assessed where they were. The interior wall had no windows, and the windows to the outside of the building had blinds that could easily be shut. He nodded. “I’ll get the windows, lock the door.”

He pulled the blinds down, dimming the room just that much more because of it. He turned back. Brian looked at him, as if asking for a way that they didn’t have to do this. Pat just crossed his arms and waited, expectant.

Brian sighed, moving towards him. He stopped a few feet away and pulled his sweater over his head. Patrick suppressed the urge to gasp, but couldn’t stop the way his eyes went wide at the sight.

Brian’s torso was covered in several large bruises that spanned across his ribs and chest, dark purples and blues, all shifting and shimmering in the light, clearly angelic in origin, blotchy and loosely connected to each other. The size of these bruises put the one of Brian’s face to shame. Pat had to actively resist the urge to heal him, like he would have done with a human. Healing a demon wasn’t expressly forbidden, but it would certainly turn some heads of the people upstairs if he did.

“Geez, Brian.”

“I know. At least these ones are covered. The only place I have to worry about them are at home, in case my roommate sees.”

“Yeah, I’d imagine.” Pat shook his head to try and snap himself out of the slight daze he was in. “You can put your shirt back on.”

Brian pulled the sweater back on. Pat closed his eyes and took another deep breath.

“Ready?” He asked.

“Yeah,” Brian answered.

He reached out with his energy and felt it mingle with Brian’s, a feeling that was strange, but not necessarily unpleasant. It gave him hope that what he was doing wouldn’t hurt Brian. He concentrated his focus on Brian’s head. The glamour would cover his whole body, but if he kept his attention there while casting, then it would affect that area more.

Pat felt the drain immediately, which is how he knew it had worked. It wasn’t a light pull, but it wasn’t exhausting either. Brian had kept one up all by himself. Even the thought of it made Pat want to go take a nap. Pat opened his eyes. He knew he wouldn’t see a difference, but for some reason he expected to. Brian looked just the same as before, except this time, he had the smallest smile on his face in thanks.

“Thanks for your help Pat.”

“No problem.”

“I don’t know how long it will take these injuries to heal, so sorry in advance.”

“It’s fine. It’s what needed to be done.”

Brian nodded, turning to leave.

“Wait,” Pat said, stopping him. Brian turned around. “Let me do something else.”

Brian gave him a curious look, stepping back towards him. “Okay?”

Pat bit his lip, considering his actions. He definitely shouldn’t do this. But then again, it would make this whole situation a lot easier.

“I can… I can bless you.” Brian’s confusion grew. “Just so that it’ll be harder for angels to spot you,” Pat added, trying to clarify.

“To what extent?” Brian asked.

“They won’t be able to pick you out of a crowd, if that’s what you’re asking. And it’s a lasting blessing, so I won’t have to keep re-blessing you for it to keep working.”

Brian considered it for a moment before responding. “Are you sure?”

Pat shrugged, trying to appear casual, as if he wasn’t proposing that he, an angel, bless a literal demon.

“Sure. It would probably lessen how many times you get beat up, which is best for both of us.”

Brian nodded. “Yeah, yeah okay. Sounds good, go ahead.”

Pat nodded back. He took another deep breath, closing his eyes again. His energy was already connected to Brian, so he didn’t have to reach out again, just extend it. He casted a blessing over Brian, an action that felt contradictory even as he did it. Brian hissed in pain in front of him.

“Are you okay?” Pat asked, eye snapping open. Brian nodded, unclenching his jaw.

“Yeah, it just stung for a second. It’s fine now,” Brian shrugged. He was still visibly tense, but Pat didn’t bring it up. Brian rolled his shoulders, trying to release some of the sudden stress in his muscles. “Is that it? Are we good?”

“Yeah that’s it,” Pat answered. Brian nodded, seemingly more to himself than anyone else.

“Okay. Thank you,” he said, before heading out of the room.

Having their energy sapped towards the same thing, intermingling in a different plane of existence, it only made Pat’s awareness of him stronger. As Brian walked out the door, Pat found himself adjusting to knowing all of his minute movements. It was all so oddly natural, being connected with Brian. There was a very intense familiarity to it that Pat couldn’t place, like deja vu but much stronger. He tried to push it out of his mind. It was something he could figure out when he wasn’t directly connected to Brian.

Just as Pat was about to leave the room, Brian popped his head back in.

“Also just a reminder, I think Tara wants us to stream sometime next week,” he said before walking back down the hallway to his desk.

“ _Fuck._ ”

++++++++++

It had been two full weeks since what Pat had started calling “The Incident.” Besides the extra exhaustion from sharing his energy, things had been mostly normal. Brian’s bruises had healed quickly, and were at the point where the glamour was more a precaution than a necessity.

Overall, it was all going well. He and Brian were back to minimal contact, work was going fine, and while the thought that they’d have to stream soon was daunting, it seemed almost unreal, far off. They’d been pushing it off with excuses for a bit, under the premise that they were too swamped with other work to start a new streaming series. It could only work for so long, but Pat was going to take every day he could get.

He woke up peacefully to a beautiful, sunny morning. Light was streaming in through his window, he was cozy in his bed, and life was good. He enjoyed the calm, letting himself lay, his mind blissfully blank.

That was until he remembered that it was Tuesday, and he should have been at work by now.

He scrambled for his phone, checking the time. All his alarms had been turned off.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck fuck,” he mumbled, panicked. His legs got caught in the blanket as he tried to get out of bed, causing him to fall hard onto the floor. He didn’t even let himself think about the pain of it; he didn’t have time to.

He hastily pulled on a shirt and threw on a button down over it, pulling on the first pair of pants he could find. He rushed out the door, almost forgetting his wallet in the process. Screw breakfast and coffee, he was just going to run on pure adrenaline until he got to work.

The subway didn’t help the situation. While it was never particularly speedy, today it seemed extra crowded, just a little too full of tourists, all of which were apparently set on making him miserable. They took up all the seats and talked way too loud for a Tuesday morning before Pat had anything to really wake him up. He was forced to stand near the doors, feeling like he was on display, disheveled and anxious. He nearly bolted out the doors when he got to his stop, walking as fast as humanly possible to the office.

He was nearly panting by the time he got to his desk. People all around him were shooting him glances, clear indication that his lateness hadn’t been overlooked. He looked up, locking eyes with Simone and Jenna, who were sending him twin smirks. He looked back down, face burning.

It took him a moment to calm down and settle into working. He was all over the place, brain scattered. It was a shit beginning to an already shit day. The next thing that set him off balance was that Brian stumbled in ten minutes later, looking just as anxious as Pat felt. He hurried to his desk, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes, though they still looked glazed over and bleary. A red icon popped up on Pat’s computer, a email from Tara, sent to both Pat and Brian.

“ _Glad you two could finally make it to work,_ ” she teased. Pat rolled his eyes, just a little, and read on. “ _Since you both showed up late today, you can both stay late and stream. No excuses. Let me know once you’ve settled on your future streaming schedule. -Tara_ ”

Pat slumped down in his chair, letting out a sigh. Well, that was that. The worst part wasn’t even that they had to stream, it was that Pat hadn’t mentally prepared himself for spending time with Brian alone, much less while trying to entertain an audience. Pat looked over at Brian, who looked away quickly as if he hadn’t been staring at him. It was going to be a long day.

All in all, their first stream ended up going surprisingly well. It was predictably tense, a little more awkward than was strictly normal, but they were still able to be entertaining and keep their energy up.  It wasn’t bad by any means; they joked around about general things, about the game and Brian’s inability to play it. If the audience noticed their tension, they’d be able to chalk it up to the fact that they hadn’t streamed together before.

There were moments though, when the facade would slip, and they’d be silent for a beat too long, only having the game’s music to distract them. It was moments like those that made Pat anxious, made him panic. There was so much pressure to act normal, to be funny, to entertain. No one was allowed to know how uncomfortable the situation really made him feel.

So he filled the silences. He made dumb jokes, he laughed, he talked about the game. It was a little forced, but he could tell Brian appreciated it. It was good to know that they were in this together, even if “this” was an awkward mess of an acquaintanceship.

By the time they finished, they were both exhausted. They cleaned up in relative silence, only speaking to make sure everything was getting put in the right places and shut down correctly.

They parted ways with stiff goodbyes. Pat’s last thought about the whole ordeal was that they better start getting more comfortable with each other fast, or they were in for a long and bumpy ride.

++++++++++

It certainly took a few weeks, but slowly and surely, their streams started to get better. Everyone could see it, audience and coworkers alike. They were gaining viewers and rising in popularity, just for the simple fact that the chemistry between them was improving. They were still a bit hesitant with each other on their own, but they were better than before, much less skittish, able to joke around more so long as the conversation stayed light.

There was a growing friendship between them that was kind of unsettling at first, but gradually morphed into something normal. They were starting to become comfortable with each other, familiar, and although Pat was somewhat concerned about the prospect of being friends with a demon, he much preferred what they were now to what they had before.

But with that enjoyment came an opposing force, equally as strong. What Patrick was doing was wrong, by almost anyone’s measure. He was becoming close with his enemy, with his absolute rival. They were at war, humanity at stake, and Pat was more concerned with playing video games with his new evil friend.

Patrick prayed often. As an angel, he really didn’t need to. If he even thought pointedly at God, he knew she would hear him. But praying brought a strange kind of peace, a connection with the humans around him. He prayed that he’d be able to resist temptation, and that he’d be able to put divine interests before his own.

Even so, he continued to cultivate this friendship with Brian. He justified it, kind of. He called it reconnaissance, getting to know the enemy’s tactics, his skill set. What he was learning was that the enemy could jump really high, that he liked theatre and music more than most things in the world. He learned weird facts about the people the enemy knew, the people he lived with, his cat, his taste in food. Pat was building an arsenal in his mind of useless knowledge that he could never use against him, because not only was there no way to effectively do so, but also because he didn’t want to.

It happened after a stream one day. Brian spoke up just as Pat was putting away all the equipment and making sure everything was properly shut down.

“Hey can I- could we try something?” Brian asked, visibly nervous. Pat furrowed his brows a bit.

“Sure dude, what’s up?” He asked, walking back over to the couch to sit.

“Um, could we try to-” he said, cutting himself off by raising his hand up in silent question. It took Pat a second to understand what Brian was asking of him. When he did, his eyes went wide.

“OH, you want to… I mean, are you sure?” Pat asked. Brian withdrew his hand slightly, second guessing himself.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to, I just wanted to see if it happened again, but yeah maybe we shouldn’t-” Brian rambled.

“No, yeah, we should try it. I mean, just to see right?” Pat interrupted. Brian raised his hand again, palm up. Pat took a breath and hesitantly touched his fingertips to Brian’s.

A shock shot up through Pat’s arm, just like before, and he pulled back on reflex. It was different though. This shock was less powerful, a bit more contained. Both their fingertips were glowing that same electric blue for a moment, until it faded into their skin. Pat looked at Brian in silent question. Brian nodded.

When their hands met again, it was more than just their fingertips. They’re pressed palm to palm, but when the shock hit them this time they didn’t pull away. They endured the brief pain in favor of staring at the place where their hands connected, at the sustained, lasting glow. Pat felt Brian’s hand flex against his, and he laced their fingers together without even thinking.

The odd electric feeling started to subside then, settling into a deep burn. It wasn’t painfully hot, but it was the kind of heat that you have to adjust to. Pat let the heat occupy his hand in growing awe. The whole sensation was exciting, exhilarating in a way that took Pat’s breath away. After having seen centuries of innovation and progress, there wasn’t much that could excite him. But this was new, something he’d never seen before, and it was thrilling.

It was Brian who pulled away first, observing his hand closely. Pat gave his own some passing interest, but was more fixated on the pure look of wonder on Brian’s face, the odd kind of glee that he was experiencing at their new discovery.

The glow lasted much longer this time, probably around 20 or 30 seconds before it finally faded. Brian stuck his hand out, and Pat connected their palms once more, only this time the glow was gone. All that remained was that same burning sensation that had settled there before. Pat withdrew his hand, laying back against the couch, staring at the ceiling. A moment later, he felt Brian do the same.

They were silent for a long moment, just listening to the sound of the office air conditioning filtering into the room. Pat honestly really didn’t even know what to say.

“Wow,” Brian said simply. Pat nodded.

“Yeah.”

They sat there together for a minute, until Brian started to move, which prompted Pat to stand up and stretch. He walked towards the door, glancing back just once before he left.

“Good stream,” he said, clearing his voice and opening the door. “See you tomorrow.”

He walked down the hallway, away from Brian and whatever moment they’d just had.

++++++++++

The next time they touched, they were in the streaming room a week later. Things had been a little awkward at first, both pointedly not talking about what happened the week earlier. They’d managed to form an odd, unspoken truce, not quite denial but far from acceptance for what had happened. Things went smoother for both of them if they just tried to pretend the other was human. It was impossible, obviously, but stubbornly they kept up the act, for their sake and for those around them. It was the only way for them to function.

They were sitting on the couch, Pat messing with his laptop to make sure everything was set and ready, Brian sitting next to him, desperately trying to coax some heat into his hands. He was wearing gloves, holding his hands close to his mouth in an attempt to warm them with his breath. The weather outside was turning, and despite all his layers, his hands still managed to be cold as ice. The office’s heat hadn’t been quite ideal lately, but it wasn’t really that cold; Brian was apparently just very susceptible to changes in temperature. If he didn’t deal so closely with the dead by nature, Pat would have joked that he had a chronic case of corpse hands.

Pat glanced over at him for a second before turning back to his computer.

“You good over there?”

Brian looked up, startled.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, just trying to warm up,” he answered. After a second he added, “You’d think with all this hellfire running through my veins, I’d be able to keep myself warm,” Brian laughed, a touch cynical.

Pat huffed out an awkward laugh. He turned his head in Brian’s direction.

“If you want, I could…” Pat trailed off, gesturing from his hands to Brian’s. Brian bit his lip, considering the offer. He sucked in a breath, hesitantly extending his hands in Pat’s direction. Pat shifted so he was turned towards him, ducking his head almost humbly as he gingerly wrapped his hands around both of Brian’s.

The heat settled in nearly immediately. Brian visibly relaxed, letting out the breath he’d been holding. Pat glanced up at Brian, at the slightly dazed look on his face, the way his gaze had set itself on his hands in Pat’s. Brian looked up suddenly and made eye contact. Pat knew his gaze had a strange intensity in that moment but he didn’t bother trying to change it. He watched as a blush creep its way up Brian’s neck, struck by the sudden intimacy that had settled on them in that moment. He felt his face heat too but he wasn’t able to look away, stuck in a staring contest that he couldn’t let himself lose.

Brian broke first, ducking his head towards his chest and huffing out an awkward laugh. He glanced up through his lashes to meet Pat’s eyes again, making Pat’s stomach flip in a weirdly pleasant way. 

A rush of panic shot through him as he swallowed and dropped Brian’s hands, turning himself forward again to made himself busy with the laptop. They were almost late starting, and it was as good an excuse as any to break the tension.

“Better?” Pat asked, glad his voice was more steady than he felt.

He watched in his periphery as Brian held one hand in his other and ran a thumb across his palm, watched as it traced its way down and rubbed the inside of his wrist. A small, soft smile had settled on his lips.

“Yeah,” he said, then after a beat added, “Thank you,” in a half whisper.

“Anytime,” Pat responded, trying to act as though his heart hadn’t started racing just the tiniest bit in his chest. There were ways he could justify this. It was strictly platonic, simply an act of service. Patrick was an angel right? He had an obligation to help.

“Ready?” He heard Brian ask, far away. Pat snapped out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, just about,” he said, putting the final touches on the settings before starting.

The stream went well, about on par with their others, maybe even a bit better. But Pat couldn’t put what happened out of his mind.

That night he prayed for a lot of things, but for deliverance from temptation most of all.

++++++++++

They were headed down a dangerous road. He could feel it, in himself and in Brian, a bond between them that would grow inevitably into something they wouldn’t be able to control. They were good friends, close friends, which was grounds enough already for concern, but there was no denying that Pat was developing more than platonic feelings.

He touched Brian more than was really necessary. The heat of their contact was oddly comforting, and more and more often, Brian had been getting cold during the day. Pat warming Brian’s hands was not an isolated incident. Once turned into twice turned into a nearly everyday occurrence. It had lost its strange intimacy after the first few times, but there was no doubt that it had been that first instance that had really kickstarted Pat’s feelings. At the very least, that was the first time he noticed them. He wondered sometimes how long they’d been there, building in the back of his mind, just under the skin but not fully developed.

It wasn’t just hand holding, it was other casual touches too. Sometimes Pat would put a hand on Brian’s shoulder, on his back. Sometimes Brian would brush their legs against each other, or let his arm rest against Pat’s while they were streaming, not bothering to move it. One night, when he was feeling particularly tired after a stream, Brian leaned fully against Pat, resting his head on his shoulder, connected from the hips up. It felt so natural that Pat didn’t even really process it til later, and even then, it was hard to regret it. It marked a distinctive shift for them, from friends to good friends. Their boundaries and personal space had become a non issue, a prospect which both thrilled and terrified Pat.

They talked more too, about anything and nothing. They had each other’s numbers and would just text. It was a daily thing, mornings and nights, ranging from any nonsense that they were thinking of to deeper conversations into the early morning.

They didn’t talk about Heaven or Hell, an unspoken rule they’d developed long ago. There was too much weight to talking about it, a reminder that they were being defiant, whether they liked it or not. Patrick didn’t know exactly how Brian felt about it, but he had had his fair share of sleepless nights, thinking about punishment, about condemnation, about duty and righteousness. It was enough stress to make him go mad.

And still his feelings continued to build. Pat was sleeping with the enemy, though thinking of the expression made him blush.  It was only a matter of time before one of two tings happened: either he was punished for his temptation and sin of voluntarily nurturing a friendship with a demon, or his feelings for Brian would come to a head, and _something_ would happen between them. For the life of him, Pat couldn’t decide which he was more afraid of.

They’d been having lunch together pretty regularly for a while now. It was almost routine that they’d head down to the cafe in the office lobby, sometimes joining others but usually not. Simone was with them this time. Simone was just as chaotic as any demon Pat had ever heard about, and if he didn’t know for certain otherwise, he’d have suspected she had some demon blood in her from somewhere back down the line. As much as evidence seemed to point towards that theory, Pat would have been able to pick up on it by now, after having worked with her for so long. Demon blood or not, she and Brian still made a somewhat dangerous duo, and Pat was prepared to be performing tiny miracles all through lunch to make sure nothing got too out of hand.

Surprisingly though, they were both oddly subdued. Loud at times? Absolutely, but you kind of have to be in a crowded New York cafe. Silly and inappropriate? Definitely, but to a lesser extent than normal. There was a kind of organized chaos to lunch, an acceptable level of energy that felt natural between them, comfortable.

Brian stood up about halfway through their lunch break, jutting a thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the counter.

“Hey, I’m going to grab some fruit, do you guys want anything?” Brian asked. Pat and Simone shook their heads. “Okay cool, I’ll be back in a second.”

Brian left, Pat’s eyes trailing him as he went. He didn’t usually let himself stare so openly, but it had been a stressful week. He was willing to allow himself this one indulgence.

Simone was looking at him when he turned his head back to her, apparently watching him watch Brian. Pat felt his cheeks heat just a little at being caught. She didn’t comment, just smiled her amused smile and took a bite of her food.

Pat turned back towards his own food, about to take a bite before Simone cleared her throat, stopping him. Pat looked up. She was giving him a kind of weighted look, smirk still gracing her lips. Her eyes bounced from Pat to Brian then back to Pat, an unspoken question. Well, Pat wasn’t going to answer it. If she wasn’t going to ask it, then he wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of answer.

“What?” Pat asked instead. Simone’s smirk grew slightly, but she didn’t say anything. “What!” He asked again, smiling despite his embarrassment. Simone gave him a little chuckle in return.

“Nothing! I’m just glad you two are getting along,” she said with a shrug. Pat felt his heart speed up a little, distant paranoia that Simone knew the nature of who they were. He tried his best to be nonchalant.

“Why wouldn’t we?”

“You guys were just so weird about each other when you met, I thought you were going to be awkward forever,” she explained.

Pat let out a subtle sigh of relief. That meeting seemed so long ago now, so stilted and awkward. He could remember the panic and shock so clearly, and yet he almost couldn’t comprehend that those emotions used to be associated with Brian. They were foreign, unwanted now. The thought of him and Brian as nothing more than strangers, civil enemies, made him uncomfortable for reasons he didn’t quite understand. He tried to push the thought from his mind as quickly as possible.

“Well we aren’t, obviously,” he said, stabbing a little at his salad. “We’re friends,” he tacked on somewhat defensively, not looking at Simone.

“Mhm,” she said, taking a bite of her own food. There was something in her tone of voice that was just a tad too insincere for him to let it go.

“What does that mean?” Pat chuckled. Simone, raised her eyebrows and fixed him with a look, taking a sip of her tea.

“Doesn’t mean anything.”

“Simone,” he said, exasperated.

She held up her hands in mock surrender. “I won’t say anything else about it.”

“Thank you.”

“Just let me know when you two finally bone down.”

“Simone!”

It was exactly then that Brian decided to return, bowl of fruit in hand.

“Why are we yelling at Simone? I mean, I’m on board, I just want to know the reason,” he asked.

Pat looked at Simone. Simone looked at Pat. She took another very deliberate sip of her tea. Pat rolled his eyes.

“She’s just being very… _herself_ today,” Pat answered. Brian smiled.

“Yeah, that’s probably cause enough to yell at her.”

The table lapsed into momentary silence. Pat tried to sneak a hand over and steal a strawberry from Brian’s bowl. Brian saw what he was doing before he could even get one in his grasp.

“No, bad,” Brian said, batting his hand away.

Pat smiled, and took a bite of his salad, pointedly ignoring the fact that Simone was looking at him. Brian and his relationship was obviously closer than it should be, but it wasn’t hurting anyone really. Pat knew himself, knew his limits, how far all of this could go. In a moment of clarity, he knew with almost absolute certainty that he had all of it under control.

++++++++++

Pat absolutely did not have it under control.

Things had been nice recently. More than nice. Things had been amazing. The time that they were together was increasing and the time spent apart seemed to melt away as soon as they saw each other again. They were close in a way that Pat couldn’t remember ever being with someone. And that was the problem.

He couldn’t stop how attached he was, how involved he felt. Recently he couldn’t stop staring at Brian’s hands, at the way sometimes his shirt would slip a bit down on his shoulder and his collarbone would peak out, at the sliver of skin that would show when he stretched and his shirt rode up. He couldn’t stop staring, couldn’t stop the deep pull of longing somewhere in his core.

His growing lack of self control was risky, dangerous. And he felt the guilt through it all, an underlying dread that made random, infrequent appearances as sudden and intense panic attacks, accompanied by the urge to wash any trace of Brian off his skin. It felt wrong to feel like that and wrong to feel bad about feeling bad about it. There was a war going on in his mind between his duty and what he wanted, truly and sincerely. And what he wanted, above all else, was to stop feeling guilty about his feelings for Brian. They’d become so comfortable, so genuine, so close in a way that Pat didn’t even have with other angels. It was so nice to finally have someone that knew him on his most basic level, even if they didn’t talk about it often.

They did mention it, sometimes. Usually it was just an offhand comment, a throwaway joke, an almost forgotten confrontation with the opposing side on the street. Brian hated demons almost as much as he was disliked angels. Pat thought angels were often too nosy, too pretentious for their own good, but had more disdain for demons than anything else. Complaining about an uncomfortable encounter to each other made them feel like they finally had a space to vent, to talk freely knowing that the other was pretty much the only exception to their distrust. They didn’t talk about it often, but there was an unspoken knowledge between them that they could, if they really wanted to.

One night they were lying in silence on the couch in the streaming room, long after they should have gone home. It was late and they were tired and frankly they didn’t want to move. Brian’s feet were in Pat’s lap as he sprawled across the rest of the couch, eyes on the ceiling.

“I used to be an angel, you know,” Brian admitted suddenly, not looking at Pat. Patrick turned to look at him, trying his best not to look too shocked by the confession.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” There was a beat of silence between them. Pat wanted to know, wanted to ask why he fell, what sin he committed that was too much to be forgiven, but it felt like too great an invasion of privacy. Even with how comfortable they were becoming, it was a past that Pat felt he had no right to enter. Brian would tell him if he asked. The thought alone made Patrick uncomfortable with the amount of power he had over Brian, the power he knew Brian had just as equally over him.

“Do you miss it?” He asked instead. Brian paused for a beat, considering.

“Sometimes. I don’t remember much of it really. Heaven is just a kind of blank spot in my mind, but that might just be because of my fall. I wonder sometimes though, if I had done things differently, if I would be happy up there.”

“Are you happy here?”

Brian didn’t answer.

The question hung in the air around them for a long while, even after they left. It followed even after they’d said goodbye, after the subway ride, after Pat had crawled into his bed for the night.

Was Brian satisfied with being a demon? With Earth? With Polygon? With their growing friendship? Was he happy here?

Was Pat?

Patrick tried to forget it, rolled over and attempted to drift off. His sleep was restless and unsettled. He dreamed of nothing and then everything and then nothing again. He dreamed, and the only one he could remember by morning was of a Heaven that Brian might’ve remembered - blurred, indistinct, but divine nonetheless.

++++++++++

He couldn’t get what Brian had told him out of his head. The confession just kept playing on repeat, weirdly familiar, like a song he’d heard before but couldn’t remember the name of. It was all he could think about when he saw Brian, talked to Brian, texted Brian.

Of course, it didn’t help that he was nearly always thinking about him. It was ridiculous, how clearly lovestruck he was. He was incapacitated by it. He couldn’t work, couldn’t focus, all he could do was think about the way Brian’s hair fell, or the color of his nails, or the way he winked like he breathed, naturally and without thinking about it.

He’d spent his fair share of days out of it, zoning, staring at his computer screen. He was torn, not knowing whether he wanted it all to stop or if he never wanted to think about anything else again. It was an incredibly precarious situation he was in, and he knew it was going to come to a head soon, something he both dreaded and eagerly looked forward to.

It came much sooner than he expected, about a week later, in the streaming room.

They’d just finished the stream, excited and laughing despite the fact that they were exhausted. Usually they relaxed after streams, letting themselves decompress after trying to be entertaining for an hour. Streaming wasn’t terribly hard work, but it was a kind of performance, trying to keep the audience interested and watching, trying to be funny without thinking about it. It was tiring. It was the reason post streams were usually their chill sesh, their moment to sit back and unwind, if just for a few minutes.

Today was different though, Pat could feel it. There was an odd energy in the room, something electrifying and lively that swirled around them. They were hyped up from the stream, from a particularly eventful day at work, from who knows what else. All that Pat knew was that he was having a good time.

Brian was laughing, head thrown back, his nose crinkled in that way it did when something really made him laugh. He was beautiful. Pat wanted to tell him so, but even in the pure joy of the moment couldn’t take away all of his impulse control. He couldn’t tell Brian, but he could think it, could stare and stare until he came to his senses and looked finally away.

A charged silence fell over them as Brian’s laugh trailed off. Pat felt a giggle bubble in his throat, a half aborted, choked kind of noise. He tried to suppress it, but Brian had caught it too, and soon they were trading it back and forth, gradually building until it turned into a full out, uncontrollable laugh that overtook them both.

Pat was practically wheezing, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. He put a hand on Brian’s shoulder to steady himself, able to feel him hiccuping with laughter. After a second, the hiccuping stopped and Brian stilled. Pat’s own laugh trailed off as he looked over, seeing the easy smile that had settled on Brian’s lips. He returned it without even thinking, and wondered how they had even gotten to this point.

They stared at each other for a long moment, just enjoying being next to each other, connected by Pat’s hand on Brian’s shoulder. The familiar burn at their touch was there as expected, but it seemed to be steadily spreading, no longer contained to just the point of contact. Pat felt it as it crept across his chest, as it progressed downwards— ribs, hips, legs, toes— until it had snaked its way into every part of him. One look into Brian’s eyes and he could tell he felt the same.

The smiles had slipped off their faces now. Pat could feel the atmosphere turning more serious, more weighted. The responsible thing for him to do would be to get out of there, break the tension, escape whatever he was being sucked into. But Brian was a demon after all. It was his job to be tempting.

Brian leaned in almost imperceptibly, an obvious invitation that Pat accepted, mirroring his actions. Pat’s hand slipped from Brian’s shoulder into his hair, threading his fingers through it. He leaned in slowly, closer still, til he was inches from Brian’s face, til his breath was ghosting over his mouth. His half-lidded gaze bounced from Brian’s eyes to his lips. Pat sighed, just barely.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered. Brian shifted closer so his leg was draped over Pat’s. His body was so close that Pat could feel the heat radiating off him, enclosing both of them in an aura of burning energy. His face was just centimeters closer than before but it made all the difference. Brian’s hand reached up and traced down Pat’s arm before it moved upward to cup Pat’s cheek, his thumb caressing the space just under his eye.

Pat tilted his head just slightly, looking Brian in the eyes as he kissed the inside of his wrist. He felt Brian shiver despite the heat. Brian shifted his head closer, even still, enough that his nose brushed against Pat’s, who couldn’t help but let his eyes slip closed. It was a kind of torture that Pat both loved and hated, a tease that he couldn’t get enough of.

“You’ll go to Hell for this,” Brian whispered, so close that his lips grazed Pat’s when he spoke. Pat swallowed, a spark of anxiety in his throat that he suppressed. There was nothing that could stop him from doing this, religious guilt be damned.

“Something tells me it won’t be so bad,” Pat whispered back, and finally, _finally_ , connected their lips.

It was euphoria, it was bliss, it was intoxicating and exhilarating, it was the universe being created and destroyed ten times over, it was every beautiful memory that Pat had ever had played all at once, it was the only important and precious thing in the world. It was paradise.

And then everything went white.

++++++++++

_Pat was watching the first humans as they were placed on Earth, starting life for the first time ever. He was excited, more excited than he’d ever been before. Infinite time has been put into calculating this, into creating and managing and planning. There was boundless anticipation for this event. Everyone was watching, angel and future human alike. They watched as Earth began to grow, and everything was set in motion._

_Pat glanced around at the hordes of souls all gathered, letting his eyes settle next to him on Brian, who was literally bouncing on the balls of his feet with joy. His face was split apart in a giant grin as he stared, wide eyed and eager, taking in every detail that he could. He looked over suddenly at Pat, his smile growing impossibly wider, before his gaze shifted down again._

_Pat felt something warm blossom in his chest, turning his eyes back to the scene in front of him. He reached his hand over and took Brian’s, gripping it tightly. This was it. Him and Brian. Angels, partners, soulmates. They were going to be the best pair Heaven had ever seen, just wait till they got sent down to Earth. Hell wouldn’t stand a chance._

_//_

_Millennia_ _passed, things got harder. Humans began to break away from the truth, tempted by demons, by Hell. They were warned, and they were punished, and still they faltered in unbelief, falling into all manner of sins. It was war, with humans in the crossfire. And Heaven was losing._

_Pat was sitting with Brian as they observed the scene in front of them. Pat watched him as he wrung his hands, his brow furrowing just a little. Brian sighed._

_“It’s hard watching them do this. I mean, we knew it was coming, eventually, but who knew it would be so soon?” Brian asked, his eyes not leaving the scene below._

_Pat nodded. It had been hard for the past few centuries. Things would be good for a bit and then get worse. Recently it seemed like an endless stream of bad decisions and it was difficult to watch without interfering._

_“It’ll get better, just wait. It always gets bad for a bit,” Pat tried to reassure him. But there was a doubt in Brian’s eyes that words couldn’t erase._

_“This is different than normal, I know it. I just-” Brian cut himself off and sighed, apparently at a loss for words. He shook his head before changing the subject. “I can’t wait till we get down there. Just you and me, performing miracles and helping people stay on track,” he said, finally looking over at Pat. Brian reached out a hand and settled it on the back of Pat’s neck, a tender look in his eyes and a smile on his face. He’d been smiling less lately, and the sight was more than welcoming. Pat flushed, just a little, and chuckled, pulling back._

_“I’m excited too, but we just have to wait for it,” Pat said, turning away to watch humanity again. After a second he felt Brian’s eyes shift off him and back to the Earth again. “Things will get better. I know they will.” Pat placed his hand on Brian’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze._

_Brian placed his hand over Pat’s on his shoulder, stroking it gently with his thumb._

_“Let’s hope so.”_

_//_

_“You_ what _,” Patrick hissed._

_“It was just for a second! I didn’t even draw attention to myself, it was just to help them stay on track. It wasn’t anything big, just some small miracles. I doubt anyone up here will even notice,” Brian replied in a hushed whisper, trying to appear nonchalant._

_“You doubt they’ll notice? They work directly with God, asshole! She knows literally everything!!” Despite the fact that they were being quiet, people were beginning to stare. Patrick took Brian’s arm and led him away from others._

_“You should have been there Pat. Humans are beautiful, they’re so simple but so clever,” Brian told him, a far away look in his eyes. “They’ve built so much in the little time that they’ve been there, and they showed me everything. They look flawed from up here but down there? They’re perfect.”_

_As captivating as it was to watch Brian talk about something that he was so passionate about, so truly invested in, Pat couldn’t let himself enjoy the moment. He was furious, and worried, and though he’d never admit it, just a tiny bit proud._

_“Brian, do you know what you’ve done? You can’t just do things without God’s approval, you don’t have the authority! You’ve altered the plan, Brian. They could banish you for this.”_

_“We’ll see. I’ve only done good down there, how can that be punishable?”_

_“It’s not what you did, it’s the fact that is wasn’t supposed to happen. No one approved your visit!” Patrick gripped Brian’s arm tightly. “I can’t lose you, Brian. I can’t.”_

_Brian’s eyes went wide in sudden understanding. If he fell, Patrick would be without him, wholly and completely. They would be apart for the rest of eternity. Even the thought of it made Pat shiver. Brian placed a hand on Patrick’s shoulder and drew him close, wrapping his arms around his shoulders in a tight embrace._

_“Okay. Yeah, okay. I’ll find a way to fix this, alright? It’s okay, we’re going to make it through this. You and me, right Pat?” Patrick was shaking against him._

_“I hope so. I really hope so.”_

_//_

_It took them less than one human day to find out. Brian was called to stand trial before the council of archangels for his crimes, so that they could determine an appropriate punishment. Brian stood in the center of a circle of angels, all gathered to watch the judgement. He was mid argument, flushed and frustrated, unrelenting, eyes ablaze with righteous anger. It was that passion that made him such an ideal angel. Patrick would be in awe of him if he wasn’t so consumed with anxiety._

_Gabriel stood in front of Brian, similarly angry._

_“We can’t intervene yet, they have to make their own choices. That’s the plan.”_

_“I can’t just watch them be condemned! They deserve more of a chance!!”_

_“That’s not how this works! We can’t change the plans now, not after all this time. This is the way it has to happen. It’s a process they must go through! You have to repent for what you’ve done. You must swear to never do it again.”_

_Brian looked over at Patrick and the look in his eyes made Pat’s stomach drop. It wasn’t the desperate look of someone in need of saving, it was apologetic, and despairing. Brian set his jaw and stared back at Gabriel, defiant and scared all at the same time. He swallowed and lifted his chin. “I can’t do that. I won’t.”_

_There was a beat of silence._

_“You know what this means,” Gabriel said, solemn and deeply serious. His tone shook Pat’s composure, and suddenly all he could feel was fear and panic. He desperately tried to steal Brian’s gaze but he wouldn’t look at him, instead keeping his attention forward._

_Brian nodded, shutting his eyes tight. “Do it quickly.” Gabriel nodded._

_“You, Brian David Gilbert, angel of the most high God, have sinned against the queen herself. In performing this action, and refusing to repent in the appropriate manner, you are stripped of your status, of your divinity, and are condemned to serve under Lucifer the fallen and his domain as punishment for your crimes. You will retain no memory of your time in Heaven besides your crime and your status as a fallen angel.” He paused, giving Brian a chance to change his mind, to repent, to save himself. Brian said nothing. He continued. “I say these things in her holy name, amen.”_

_And Brian fell._

_Pat dropped to his knees, tears streaming down his face. The crowd around him dispersed, leaving in alone, crying and in pain. His heart was in his throat, and he had to cover his mouth to keep a sob from escaping. He curled in on himself to keep all noise from fighting its way out, the sobs shaking his body with violent force. It was a pain unlike any he’d ever felt, like he’d died but been forced back to life against his will. He splayed one palm against the ground, out toward where Brian had stood, and let himself be overcome with emotion. Nothing else mattered right then. It was just him and the phantom limb that was Brian, his soulmate, his love._

_//_

_Pat watched Earth with vague disinterest as he prepared. He’d be down there with them soon, and while he should have been excited by the prospect of finally going, after eons of waiting, he couldn’t bring himself to really care. Nothing held his focus anymore, which was dangerous for him. An apathetic angel could help humans much less than they could hurt them, and any sort of negligence on his part could result in harsh punishment. He was bored, dissatisfied with everything. He hadn’t been the same since Brian fell._

_Brian, who he was supposed to be going down to Earth with. Brian, who was his soulmate, his perfect counterpart, matched to him in every way, shape, and form. Brian, who didn’t even remember who Patrick was._

_It was torture at first, a kind of excruciating pain that came with the loss of a loved one. There was an intensity that was unrivaled by anything he’d ever seen in humans, because of just how deeply Brian was ingrained into his being, into his soul. They were one in the same, interlocking parts that cannot function independently. Brian’s fall felt like losing a limb, but more than anything it felt like losing his heart._

_It wasn’t just that Brian wasn’t there with him, or the fact that he would literally never be able to see Brian again. It was the feeling that part of his own soul had left him, that he couldn’t feel Brian, sense him in the ethereal realm. He was gone, really and truly, and the pain of it had effectively crippled Patrick._

_The hurt faded with time, slowly morphing into a constant, underlying sadness, depression with no name or form other than profound and intense despair. This shifted into general apathy, a void that had no escape and no cure. Patrick didn’t care, not about Heaven or Hell, not about humans and not about God. He was a hollow shell of who he used to be._

_He showed up to Gabriel, ready for departure, a vacant look in his eyes. There was no celebration in him, no enthusiasm, and Gabriel could see every ounce of disinterest that poured from him._

_“You’re in no state to be sent down, you know that, right?” Gabriel sighed. Patrick shrugged._

_“Then don’t send me.” Patrick fixed him with a look that was just the slightest bit bitter. It was Gabriel’s fault he was like this. He took Brian from him. He took part of his soul. Gabriel held his gaze for a second more before dropping it with another sigh._

_“Patrick, what occurred was a tragedy but these things happen. Admittedly, they don’t happen often, but you’re still able to function fully and completely without a soulmate. It’s not essential for everyone to have one.” Anger flared in Pat’s chest. It didn’t matter that Gabriel thought he should have been okay. Gabriel hadn’t watched as someone he loved was cast out of Heaven, out of paradise, and away from him. His stare was cold and hard._

_“I loved him Gabriel. I still do, despite everything. He was a part of me in every sense and I can only handle that pain for so long. This is who I am, so long as I remember him.”_

_They stood there in silence for a moment before Gabriel responded._

_“What if you didn’t remember him? What if I took him from your mind the same way I took you from his?”_

_Hope flared in Pat’s chest for a second, a testament to dejected he truly was. He was past longing for Brian; at this point he wanted relief._

_He nodded, just once. Gabriel nodded back in affirmation._

_“When I send you down, you will have no memory of him or of what happened. You will remember Heaven, but not the despair you felt at his loss. You will once again feel like yourself, and be able to act in God’s holy name. Do you accept this?” There was an unspoken weight to his words, to the fact that such an integral part of Pat would be hidden, would be completely lost._

_Pat swallowed dryly._

_“Yes.”_

_“Very well. Are you ready?” Pat nodded once more._

_“Yes.”_

_“Okay. Here we go. Down in 3, 2, 1-”_

++++++++++

Pat came back to himself, breathing heavily. His hands were gripping Brian’s forearms so tightly he was almost certainly going to leave bruises. He tried to orient himself, to make sense of everything that he’d just seen. He looked up, at Brian across from him. He was crying, and after a second, Pat realized he was too.

They stared at each other for a minute, not speaking, just staring with wide eyes and desperate expressions. Brian broke their silence.

“Oh,” he said, letting out a tiny huff of laughter, his voice cracking as more tears fell. “It’s you.”

Pat pulled Brian forward into a bone crushing embrace. Brian’s hands gripped Pat’s shirt, trying to maintain his hold on what he’d lost so long ago. Pat distantly registered Brian shaking in his arms, the fabric of his shirt getting wet with tears, a litany of “I’m sorry”’s mumbled into Pat’s shoulder. He held him tighter in response. It didn’t matter what had happened. They were together now. Pat had gotten back what was rightfully his

He shifted back, just enough to pull Brian into a bruising kiss. It was nothing more than a hard press of their lips, forceful and even a little painful, but perfect nonetheless. After a second, the kiss softened, a more gentle slide, just as intense but more passionate. Kissing Brian was like breathing, just as natural, but also just as necessary to stay alive. Pat had been holding his breath for so long. Now he was gasping for air.

For a moment, there was only bliss. Then all at once, everything felt… wrong. They broke apart, breathing heavily, still holding each other but looser. It was like sirens were going off in Pat’s head, all the alarms and buzzers in the world, trying to draw his attention. Amidst the noise was a thought that didn’t come from him, clear and concise in the way that only divine messages can be. It wasn’t just a message, it was an order. _Come home._

Pat put his attention back on Brian, whose wide eyed expression told Pat that he had similar instructions. Brian cleared his throat.

“I have to-” Brian started.

“Me too,” Pat finished. The alarms were still going off, not getting any quieter - if anything they were getting louder. Pat gently stroked Brian’s cheek, giving him a significant look before pulling away completely. The loss of warmth hit Pat with a sudden chill, and he suppressed the urge to shiver.

They both stood, a bit awkwardly, hesitant to leave each other. Brian turned to him. Despite all the noise in their minds, he paused and took both of Pat’s hands in his, looking him in eyes.

“I’ll be back. Promise.”

The sincerity in his tone, the certainty in his gaze, the pressure of his grasp, it was almost enough to make Pat believe it.

Pat pulled him in for one last embrace before they part ways. He felt Brian sigh into his shirt, felt him tighten his grip, heard him mutter an “I love you” into Pat’s shoulder. Even “I love you” felt too shallow, too cheap to communicate the raw emotion that Pat felt for him, so he just held him tighter and hoped that Brian understood, that he could feel it radiating off him in waves.

They broke apart. Brian headed toward the door, looking back long enough to give Patrick a nervous smile before he exited.

Getting to Heaven wasn’t hard. All Pat really had to do was will himself there and suddenly that’s where he was. He could come and go as he pleased, just as all angels could. It’s this power that gave Brian the opportunity to fall in the first place, because of his decision to go to Earth unauthorized. Presumably, Hell had a similar system. Brian didn’t have to leave the room before he returned to Hell, but Pat understood the need for privacy when transporting. Plus, it probably wouldn’t be good to have so much opposing energies in the room at the same time.

Heaven was oddly silent. The alarms had shut off as soon as he’d arrived, but the change was disorienting. Pat had never heard such panic, such urgency like he did with the alarms. There wasn’t anything here that seemed to warrant them, and if Pat didn’t know better, he’d have thought they were just a mistake. Everything here was quiet.

It was more than quiet, actually. It was downright empty. Pat had never seen it so vacant, not unless-

Not unless God had called Court.

Pat hurried towards the grand hall. God only called Court when there were major events, like when humans started life on Earth. Every angel was required to attend, not that anyone wouldn’t want to. Court was always exciting, but usually it was planned. In all of existence, Pat had never seen God call an emergency Court. The thought made him uneasy, and as he shuffled into the gathering hall, he could tell he wasn’t the only one.

He’d never seen everyone so on edge. He joined the back of the crowd and waited for something to happen. At the front of the room were the archangels.

Michael stepped forward, clearing his throat. The room that had been filled with low murmurs fell silent.

“As you all know, Heaven and Hell have been at war since the beginning of time. It has obviously not been easy trying to fight this battle, especially given that the only form of attack has been influencing the actions of humanity. This strategy is no more. While the effort to come up with a new approach has been in the works for centuries, recent events have not only hastened the endeavor, but set it into motion.” He paused then, scanning the crowd. “Patrick Gill, please come forward.”

Pat’s heart started pounding in his chest, anxious and frightened, knowing all too well why he was being called forward and not wanting to be acknowledged at all. It was like his feet were glued to the floor, every fiber of him rejecting the idea of movement. Slowly, the people around him turned to stare, eyes wide in confusion and accusation. The more eyes that turned in his direction, the more his anxiety grew. He swallowed dryly, took a breath, and forced his legs forward, stumbling through the crowd.

He reached the front, stepping in front of the pack. Michael gestured towards him.

“Patrick Gill has cultivated a relationship with a demon and fallen victim to its temptation.” Anger flared through Pat’s veins. What was between him and Brian wasn’t the result of some plot from Hell to corrupt an angel, it was the universe returning what was rightfully his. They were destined to be together, and loving Brian wasn’t a sin. Every word out of Michael’s mouth just stoked Pat’s fury. He continued. “This is proof that even our own forces can be tempted, and so any effort to win over the whole of humanity is in vain. Angels too can be corrupted.”

Pat couldn’t silence himself anymore.

“I’m not corrupted! And Brian isn’t just any demon! He’s my soulmate.”

“Was your soulmate. Now he’s the enemy. Regardless of the history between you, he is still a member of the opposing force. You fell for his ruse, and now he’s no doubt reporting his findings back to Hell.”

“It wasn’t about Hell! It wasn’t about Heaven or Earth or humanity or any of it! It was about love!” Patrick yelled desperately, know it was in vain.

“What you had was not love. It was just him finishing his mission,” Michael spat.

“You’re wrong! He wouldn’t have done that, there’s no chance. He wouldn’t just betray me like that.”

“He’s a demon! Of course he would! Do you think that just because he used to be an angel he’s any more moral than the rest of them? He fell Patrick. He played you and now we all have to face the consequences.”

“And what would those be?”

“We’re going on the offensive.” Michael turned back towards the rest of the crowd. “By the order of God on high, you are instructed to ready yourselves for battle and prepare yourselves to fight. We’re going to invade Earth.”

The congregation broke into feverish whispers, surprised and concerned, some excited, some afraid. Patrick stood frozen in shock. This… no, this couldn’t… how could they…

“No,” he whispered. Michael glanced over at him but quickly turned his attention back to the crowd.

“The time of reckoning is upon us. It is the end of days.”

“No,” Pat said louder, more sure. He couldn’t just let them do this. There had to be a way to explain to them, to make them understand-

“There’s nothing you can do about this Patrick. Your punishment will be decided after the invasion. It is of the utmost importance that we proceed as quickly as possible-”

“You can’t do this. You have to listen to me-”

“This is the only way Patrick.” Michael stood steadfast, full of righteous anger and sure in his orders in a way that might have once inspired Pat, but now only made him feel more desperate, more hopeless

“It’s not! If I could just explain, there has to be a better way-”

“You cannot question the orders of God! There is no other way-”

“Michael, please!”

“Patrick-”

“Stop!” A voice yelled from the entrance of the hall. Pat couldn’t see who it was from where he was standing, but he’d recognize that voice anywhere. The figure pushed its way through the crowd, stumbling forward into the cleared area where Pat and Michael stood. “Please, stop,” it gasped, out of breath.

Pat nearly gasped at the sight of him, seeing now what he had been unable to see that first day they met. Brian’s true form was exposed for all to see. His eyes were a bright red that stood out against the stark whiteness of the room. Protruding from the top of his head were two small, pointed horns, a fiery mix of reds and oranges. Though the inside of his mouth wasn’t visible, Pat was sure he’d find elongated canines, a mouth full of teeth just a bit too long and sharp to be natural.

Drifting up into the air above him was a faint black smoke. Patrick had never seen a demon’s true form before in person, but he had seen Brian in pain, and this smoke was certainly more of the latter than the former. Brian hissed in a breath through his teeth. Pat was struck suddenly with the realization that Heaven was literally burning him alive, however slowly. He wouldn’t be able to stay here for too long.

Michael, to his credit, managed to snap out of his shock quickly. He took a step back, ready to defend himself.

“How did you get here? Who let you in?”

Brian stood up to his full height, hands up in surrender. “No one. I used to be an angel, remember?”

“You lost your divinity when you fell, there should be no way for you to get back here on your own power!”

“No. There shouldn’t.” Brian glanced over at Pat, a small smile on his face despite everything. “But I was blessed. I guess it was enough to get me back up here.”

Pat would have smiled back at the memory, all that time ago, back when they didn’t remember each other and things were simpler, except that all he could feel was shock, surprise, and an overabundance of fear.

“Brian, why are you here?” Pat called to him. They were only separated by a few yards, but Pat knew better than to go to him, especially now. Brian gave him a bittersweet kind of smile. He was planning something, and Pat couldn’t stop it.

“To make things right again,” he answered simply. He turned back to Michael, falling to his knees. “I was not under the orders of Hell nor was I acting under anyone’s direction. I acted on my own accord, and Hell has not taken any action to qualify as an act of war, nor do they deserve any kind of retaliation. Let me bear the consequences.” After a beat he added, “I’ll take anything.”

This kind of submission peaked Michael’s interest. He relaxed his stance, moving slightly closer to stand above Brian. “Any kind of punishment?

“Yes,” Brian nodded.

“In exchange for what?”

“For you to abandon this plan! You can’t punish the whole for the actions of one man alone. I’ll suffer for what I’ve done, you just have to promise to let everyone else go.”

Michael looked down on him before turning his back, heading towards the rest of the archangels to consult with them. Pat glanced nervously between them and Brian. He settled his eyes on Gabriel.

“Gabriel,” he said, a question on his breath that goes unspoken. Gabriel looked over at him, then to Brian. He sighed, nodding.

“Go.”

Pat rushed to Brian’s side, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close. Gabriel nodded at him again before exiting the room with the rest of the archangels through the doorway behind them. There was only one place that doorway led, and it was directly to God. There was no telling what the verdict would be when they emerged, but whatever it was, it would be with God’s authority.

Brian shook in his arms. Pat turned him towards him, grasping his forearms. He wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“Brian, look at me, please.”

Brian turned his head, sniffling, tears streaming down his face. He smiled a sad, mournful kind of smile.

“Hi Pat.” Pat’s hands shifted upwards to cup Brian’s face

“Brian, you can’t do this.” Brian shook his head.

“I have to. It’s the only way.”

“We can figure something out, please, I can’t lose you again,” Pat’s voiced cracked, tears finally falling down his face. Brian’s face crumbled as he hiccuped out a few sobs, burying his face in Pat’s chest.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I love you,” he sobbed. Pat held him tighter, as if holding onto him now would let him keep him forever. He was aware, suddenly, of the fact that everyone was watching them, the room nearly silent in anticipation. It made him feel exposed, vulnerable. He curled in on himself, trying to shield Brian from their gaze. None of them would understand. Pat barely understood any of this himself.

The archangels emerged a moment later, their faces blank, not giving anything away. Gabriel gestured with a nod of his head for Pat to move away. He sucked in a breath and untangled his arms from Brian, taking a reluctant step backwards. Brian flashed him a quick, anxious smile before turning back to the council. Raphael stepped forward. Pat held his breath.

“We are willing to call off the invasion if there is a suitable punishment set in recompense, however, this punishment must be equal in severity as the sin which was committed. Propose a punishment, we will judge whether it is sufficient.”

There was a beat of silence where no one moved, no one dared to breathe. Brian took in an audible breath, eyes closed.

“If the council would find it fitting, I’d be willing to give up my very existence.”

Pat’s heart shattered.

He understood the significance. There had never been a time where Brian hadn’t existed, neither as angel or demon. He was there at the birth of the universe, created first as an agent of God, then banished as an enemy. He was beyond time, beyond immortality. To give up his existence, his soul, was the ultimate punishment. He would be nothing, obliterated. He would be only void.

His suggestion seemed to even shock Raphael, whose rigidity was a testament to just how stunned he was. “You’d be willing to do that?”

Brian looked over then, eyes puffy, somehow redder and bloodshot despite their already crimson hue. He locked eyes with Pat as he spoke. “If it saves everyone else, if it avoids a war, then I’ll do anything.”

Raphael glanced behind him. The council of archangels nodded. He nodded back, turning forward once more.

“Okay.”

Pat could already feel the sorrow building in his soul, the endless emptiness that he once felt, but this time it was worse. There would be absolutely no coming back from this. Brian’s soul was unique. He could not be created again. Once he was gone, he was gone, completely.

“Brian-” Pat whispered, as if there was anything he could do to change his mind. Brian just shook his head.

“It’s alright, Pat. It’ll be fine.”

His hands lay by his side, palms up, vulnerable, surrendering. He took a breath. He was waiting for punishment. He was waiting destroyed. It was like before, but infinitely worse. There’s no defiance here, just cruel, cold acceptance.

“Brian David Gilbert,” Raphael started, “you are sentenced to complete extinction. There will be no trace of you or your soul left in this or any realm. Do you accept your fate?”

Brian let out a sigh, waited a beat, then answered. “Yes.”

Pat fought to hold down a wail, a hand clamped over his mouth.

Raphael motioned the archangels forward. They readied themselves.

“Then by the authority vested in me, by the power of God, I hereby condemn you to-”

_“Stop.”_

And they were blinded by bright, white light.

In the doorway behind the archangels stood a figure, perfect in every conceivable way, indescribable. Pat was on his knees before her. When had he fallen to his knees?

She flowed forward, past the archangels who too knelt in her presence. Behind her trailed the ends of her robes, flowers laced into the seems. She walked straight to Brian, her eyes unblinking but not stern. Brian’s head was bowed in respect. She placed her fingertips under his chin and tilted his face upwards so that he looked up at her, eyes full of reverence, of awe, face wet with tears.

 _“Brian David Gilbert,”_ she said, though her mouth did not move. Her voice was exactly how Pat imagined it and yet nothing like it at all. It was like silk, like flowing water. She continued. _“Showing up here was courageous, and for that, I applaud you. You are an incredibly brave soul. Stupid, but brave.”_ Brian let out a hiccup of a laugh, letting out a shaky breath. She continues. “ _More than anything, however, you’re selfless. You’ve shown true devotion and loyalty. More than that, you’ve shown overwhelming and everlasting love.”_

She cocked her head to the side, like she was appraising him. She brought her hand down and caressed his cheek with the back of her hand. _“Do you swear to follow my orders, to uphold the holy law, and to uplift humanity for all time eternal?”_

“Of course, your grace,” he said, and Pat could see that there was no deception in his eyes. He would do anything for her, just as he would do anything for Pat. She smiled and it was radiant.

 _“Then I hereby deem you an angel of God once more.”_ She bent down, placing a gentle kiss on Brian’s forehead. _”Your divinity may be restored.”_

She backed up then, as Brian rose to his feet. No, not to his feet, as he rose straight into the air. He was glowing, emanating a bright white aura that pulsed, steadily getting stronger. Brian’s eyes were wide, not scared, just surprised by the sudden change of events.

He floated then, head tilted upwards as heaven literally broke over him, silent sobs shaking his body. The light surrounded him, enveloped him in warmth and certainty. Slowly, his appearance began to shift. His eyes faded to a more natural hue, his horns shrank down until they disappeared, his mouth, open in shock, revealed how his teeth dulled and retreated, becoming normal again. Seemingly from nothing, wings faded into existence on his back, a halo over his head. He was reverting to his original state, who he was before his fall.

A multitude of emotions rushed across his face in an instant, overwhelming him to the point where he almost looked pained, his face scrunched up and his body trembling. Eventually though, his expression settled on relief, gratitude, bliss. Brian let it all wash over him as he was united, finally, with the ether that was divine purpose, celestial love.

Pat watched with the rest of the crowd in stunned silence. He couldn’t process really anything, the past few minutes had been such a blur. He knew a few things for certain though, and that was that Brian was the most beautiful man he had ever seen, and that he loved him more than he could even try to explain 

Slowly, the light around Brian began to fade, and he lowered from the air. He stood there for a second, flexing his wings, running a hand through his hair to feel the absence of his horns. She watched him with an amused smile as he relearned what his body felt like. He stopped, looking over at her.

“Thank you,” he whispered. She nodded, just once, and then turned around, walking back through the door she had come from, and disappeared. The archangels gaped at Brian for a second more, then turned and followed her.

The room immediately erupted into excited chatter, thrilled by everything that had just happened. Some people even approached Brian, getting a better look at the reborn angel. Pat snapped out of his daze and rushed to him, immediately wrapping him in a massive hug. Brian laughed and Pat laughed back, giddy and joyful and loud. He held him tighter, ecstatic just to feel his heart beating with Pat’s in tandem.

“You’re back,” Pat laughed. “I finally got you back.”

Brian pulled back with a toothy grin. “Don’t worry, I don’t plan on leaving again.”

He kissed him, and everything was perfect.

++++++++++

Pat awoke to a warm weight against his side. He turned his body, eyes still closed, draping his arm across it. It sighed, shifting closer. Pat smiled.

“Good morning,” he said softly. The figure ran a hand across Pat’s bare chest, settling on his collarbone.

“Mmm, morning,” it mumbled, a smile in its words. Pat opened his eyes to admire the man who slept next to him. The sight nearly took his breath away.

Brian was curled up against him, his hair splayed out on the pillow. His eyes were still closed, but his mouth had settled into just a hint of a smile. The sun streamed in from the window and landed on his face, softening his features with golden light. Pat placed a kiss on Brian’s forehead.

“You look like an angel,” Pat said, half joking, half genuine. Brian snorted, smile growing. He rolled away a bit, rubbing his eyes and yawning wide. Pat grinned. “I mean it.”

Brian lightly smacked Pat with his hand, running a hand through his hair. “You always mean it, doesn’t mean it isn’t sappy as hell.”

Pat shifted so he was closer to Brian, who was in the process of sitting up in bed. He wrapped his arms around Brian’s waist, pulling him back down. Brian laughed, sweet and silly and cute. Pat had brought him down so they were face to face, so Brian was at eye level. He grinned, meeting Patrick’s gaze. His hand came up to stroke Pat’s cheek, a touch that he leaned into eagerly. Brian’s smile softened, just as genuine but more adoring.

“Hi Patrick,” he said.

“Hi Brian,” Pat answered. Brian kissed him, quick and chaste and sweet like honey.

“I love you,” Brian said, like it was the easiest thing in the world.

“I love you too,” Pat echoed and huh. Maybe it was.

Brian pulled away, rolling out of bed. He stretched, and Pat let himself admire the man in front of him, his soulmate. Brian pulled on a shirt and some sweatpants. He picked up a pair of socks from the dresser drawer and threw them at Pat.

“Come on sleepyhead, we have work to do.”

Pat followed after him. He was right, they had work to do. And they were going to do it side by side, for the rest of eternity.

He couldn’t wait to get started.

**Author's Note:**

> Hmu on tumblr @ gunraveled


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